Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
