I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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