Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
