So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
