I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
