Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
