I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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