He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
