I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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