They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
