I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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