We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
