I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
