She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Text me some of your sweat
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
