i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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