Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
