got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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