dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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