I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
