I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
