I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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