Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
