You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
