You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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