my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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