Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
