he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
