Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
