I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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