I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
