i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
