It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
