dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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