It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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