playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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