Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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