If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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