Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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