They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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