oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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