he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
