Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
