Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
