Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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