I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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