tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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