Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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