it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
