Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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