that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
