talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
