One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
porn star boner night. come get it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
